Midway to grabbing one of the glass bottles of water she'd brought with them, Corrin stops for a moment, her face falling as she realizes her slip-up. "Rations", that was something soldiers said, wasn't it? And she technically is a soldier, in the Nohrian army, along with all her siblings. Everyone fights in Nohr, even the leaders, especially the leaders.
And Corrin is who King Garon put in charge of the Hoshidan invasion. A foolish command to give; she lacks Xander's formidable experience, and she isn't half the tactician Leo is. Xander is Crown Prince, the heir to the throne, by all rights he should be the one leading the army...but Hoshido is where Corrin—no, Kamui—was born. It's where her birth family still resides. It's where her mother died defending her from a trap set by King Garon; a trap that used an unwitting Corrin as bait.
He put her in command because it hurts her, and because to refuse, or not give the absolute appearance of doing everything she can to win this war for her adopted father, will result in her death, and the deaths of everyone who follows her. Maybe even some of her siblings. Maybe all of them. And because this way her plan, her stupid, foolish plan, has a chance of working.
But there will be so much death before then. To give up means death, but to succeed means damnation. That's the person she really is, the person Schala, sweet, caring Schala doesn't know about yet. She'll have to though one day, Corrin knows, if they are indeed going to be friends. She owes the other woman that. What she's done, and what she will do. Of course Schala won't want anything to do with Corrin after that, how could she? Corrin knows in her heart of hearts what a monster she actually is.
But not yet. Corrin enjoys her company, she has already decided, and she would savour it, that smile and that laugh as long as she can.
All this passes by in a few brief moments as Corrin collects herself. "Uh, oh...yes, like a soldier." She admits. "I...it was my father's wish that I serve, so for now I will. But it's not, um, it's not...what I want to spend my entire life doing." She takes the bottle, uncorks it, and takes a drink.
Once she's had her fill, she puts the bottle down and grins; this time, her's is the bit that is slightly forced. She'd rather get away from this topic if she can. "You absolutely would not be." She chides gently, and the sentiment is true, even if her cheer isn't entirely. "I'm stronger than I look you know! And I happen to have it on good authority I give very good piggy-back rides, too." She nods assertively at this. "My little sister's standards are quite high in that department, I'll have you know." Then she laughs, more genuinely now. Thinking about Elise helps; thinking about all of them eases the pain. It was Corrin's love for her siblings, and theirs for her, that had kept her in Nohr after all. That's the one thing she has never gone back on; the one thing she doesn't think she's capable of going back on. She may be a monster, but there are people waiting for her who genuinely love her. And despite it all, that is a comforting thought.
Don't forget the fear, you coward. her mind hisses at her, through her best attempts to ignore it.
no subject
And Corrin is who King Garon put in charge of the Hoshidan invasion. A foolish command to give; she lacks Xander's formidable experience, and she isn't half the tactician Leo is. Xander is Crown Prince, the heir to the throne, by all rights he should be the one leading the army...but Hoshido is where Corrin—no, Kamui—was born. It's where her birth family still resides. It's where her mother died defending her from a trap set by King Garon; a trap that used an unwitting Corrin as bait.
He put her in command because it hurts her, and because to refuse, or not give the absolute appearance of doing everything she can to win this war for her adopted father, will result in her death, and the deaths of everyone who follows her. Maybe even some of her siblings. Maybe all of them. And because this way her plan, her stupid, foolish plan, has a chance of working.
But there will be so much death before then. To give up means death, but to succeed means damnation. That's the person she really is, the person Schala, sweet, caring Schala doesn't know about yet. She'll have to though one day, Corrin knows, if they are indeed going to be friends. She owes the other woman that. What she's done, and what she will do. Of course Schala won't want anything to do with Corrin after that, how could she? Corrin knows in her heart of hearts what a monster she actually is.
But not yet. Corrin enjoys her company, she has already decided, and she would savour it, that smile and that laugh as long as she can.
All this passes by in a few brief moments as Corrin collects herself. "Uh, oh...yes, like a soldier." She admits. "I...it was my father's wish that I serve, so for now I will. But it's not, um, it's not...what I want to spend my entire life doing." She takes the bottle, uncorks it, and takes a drink.
Once she's had her fill, she puts the bottle down and grins; this time, her's is the bit that is slightly forced. She'd rather get away from this topic if she can. "You absolutely would not be." She chides gently, and the sentiment is true, even if her cheer isn't entirely. "I'm stronger than I look you know! And I happen to have it on good authority I give very good piggy-back rides, too." She nods assertively at this. "My little sister's standards are quite high in that department, I'll have you know." Then she laughs, more genuinely now. Thinking about Elise helps; thinking about all of them eases the pain. It was Corrin's love for her siblings, and theirs for her, that had kept her in Nohr after all. That's the one thing she has never gone back on; the one thing she doesn't think she's capable of going back on. She may be a monster, but there are people waiting for her who genuinely love her. And despite it all, that is a comforting thought.
Don't forget the fear, you coward. her mind hisses at her, through her best attempts to ignore it.